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Coming out as bisexual mom: Jess Wilson Huffington Post
Blogger mom, Jess Wilson came out as bisexual woman on January 8 in a Huffington Post article.
In her article, Wilson, author of the “a diary of a mom” blog, covered a variety of issues including living life as a ‘fraud’, situational disclosure, being an ally for the GLBTQ community, and how sexuality is not always ‘linear’ in nature. In the post, she explains how a conversation with a friend changed everything for her.
Jess explains she was in a deep discussion with a friend, a male friend, who was, at least outwardly, living life as a straight male. The truth? He considers himself bisexual.
Fearing what others would think of his coming out as bisexual man, Wilson’s friend had lived as a “straight man” for many years. Bisexual men and women are often criticized when they have a relationship with the same sex and then go on to have a relationship with the opposite sex.
At one point, the concept of “situational disclosure” comes up. Basically, this involves coming out to certain people depending on what is happening in your life at any given time. For Wilson, it seems prior to marrying her husband, she was out as bisexual woman in a lesbian relationship.
She reflects on how she is happy with her life as a married woman with two children. But, she makes it a point to discuss how there have always been moments she’s felt like a ‘fraud’:
“It doesn’t come up much, but there are moments. There are dropped pronouns in stories of my past. There are thoughts left without a voice. And then there are times when I am praised for being an ally to the gay community. It is in those moments that I feel the most like a fraud.”
The GLBTQ community is one that is regularly scrutinized. Facing regular challenges in the fight to marry, or the same-sex marriage moment, gay and lesbian couples are all too familiar with what it’s like to be considered ‘second-class’ citizens. In reaction to her friend’s story, Jess Wilson came out.
She came out as a bisexual woman, in order to make her sexuality known, to make her story know. In her sexual orientation disclosure, she hopes others who have lived life as she has will find solace in that things happen for a reason, and life’s twists and turns will take you where you need to be. While it may not always be an easy ride, it it’s a ride worth taking.
Jess Wilson finishes her article with these words:
“The point was my power, and the fact that I was looking in the wrong direction for change. I was frustrated with myself, not with him. I live with the privilege of others’ assumption about me. And by allowing those assumption to stand, I also allow ignorance to stand. Not anymore.”
Sources: Huffington Post
Ultimately, Wilson seeks to bring awareness to the wrongful assumptions held about people, simply based on their sexuality. As Jessie J., Anna Paquin, and Cynthia Nixon have pointed out, sexuality does not define who you are. Yes, it’s a big part of who you are, but you are not your sexuality.