Marriage Trends Archives - Relationships Counseling Today

Keeping Your Marriage Healthy: Tips on Dealing with Family Drama

April 10, 2013 by BPSTherapy Leave a Comment

how to handle family issues, family problems, marriage

Photo via success.com

Once you are in a long-term, serious relationship, you are pretty much committed to both your partner and your partner’s family.

Things are usually friendly and lovely in the beginning. It’s as though the ‘honeymoon’ phase exists for both you and how your partner’s family interacts with you.

Eventually though, somewhere along the line, you get to know the new people in your extended family as the people they really are.

At this point, you can either run for the hills, or learn how to deal with the family drama that might inevitably come your way.

Here are a few tips on keeping your marriage healthy in the face of family related adversity:

Focus on what’s really wrong. If it’s really an external problem, something related to in-laws, cousins, sibling, whatever, keep it there. Don’t make it a problem about your marriage.
Make time for each other. The stress of drama can sometimes seep into your relationship. Don’t let it. Make sure you keep the time you spend alone as a couple sacred.
Commit to discussing family concerns at times when you will be ok ending the conversation and moving on to something else. In other words, don’t delve into deep-seeded family problems just before bed time.
Address family issues with your family. Yes, it’s great to talk about things with your partner when a loved one says or does something that bothers you. But there comes a time when you need to discuss the problem directly with the responsible parties if you want any realistic changes to take place.

How do you handle family problems? Has family drama crept its way into your marriage?

Filed Under: All Topics, Family, Marriage Trends, Relationships Tagged With: family drama, family issues, happy marriage, healthy marriage, marriage

Starting marriage counseling alone can be good

August 9, 2012 by BPSTherapy 2 Comments

Sometimes when you decide to go to marriage counseling, you may end up going by yourself.

Marriage counseling, or couples therapy is aimed at helping couples or individuals work through different issues they may be facing in their marriage.

Believe it or not, some partners end up attending marriage counseling alone when their spouse is adamant against attending therapy sessions. Does this work?

This all depends on the couple and what their primary concerns are.

When only one of the partners is working at saving the marriage by attending therapy sessions, only that person is addressing whatever relationship problems are bothering them in their marriage.

Does this mean they will help solve the problems for the couple as a unit? Not necessarily.

While the person attending counseling will be able to pick up new ways of handling problems within the relationship and perhaps teach them to their source, more than likely they will be unable to fix everything in the marriage singlehandedly.

What can you accomplish by going to starting marriage counseling alone? You might be able to dig into some relationships problems you are facing and perhaps start to work through some of you own emotional baggage you might be bringing to the marriage.

In time, if your partner sees you are improving in terms of your attitude or outlook on the marriage, this might rub off on them and they might change their mind about therapy altogether.

Another potential benefit of starting marriage counseling alone is that you will able to get everything out in the open without fear of being interrupted or judged by your partner if you have been hesitant to share your thoughts with them lately.

What do you think? How do you think someone could benefit from starting marriage counseling alone? Do you think this can work to help get a couple on the right path to saving a marriage?

Filed Under: All Topics, Marriage Trends, Online Counseling, Relationships, Therapy Tagged With: couples, going to therapy alone, marriage, marriage counseling, spouse, starting therapy alone, therapy

Marriage advice: Avoid TomKat drama, discuss religion

June 10, 2012 by BPSTherapy Leave a Comment

Religion is super important in establishing and maintaining a lasting, loving, and healthy relationship.

Both married couples and those in dating relationships alike benefit from discussing what they value in terms of religion, both personally and which faith they would like their children to follow if they were to have children down the line.

Celebrity married couple TomKat or actor Tom Cruise and actress Katie Holmes are no different. Since the news broke of their impending divorce in late June 2012, Hollywood rumors since day one have told that the couple shared quite a few differences in terms of which religion Suri, their daughter would follow.

Suri is now 6 years old, apparently the age of indoctrination for the Church of Scientology, the church which the Mission Impossible actor belongs too.

While many believe Katie Holmes was a passionate member of the church during her 5 year marriage to Tom, her thoughts regarding her daughter following in her footsteps are reportedly quite different, so much so that she would rather divorce Tom and be awarded sole custody to avoid the church entirely!

How can you avoid this TomKat drama in your own marriage or dating relationship? How could Katie Holmes have done things differently?

Discuss your faith with your partner if you are a married couple or in a serious, committed relationship.

Chances are this topic will come up eventually, don’t avoid it! If you feel that you are going to stick around for a while, take advantage to lay it all out there! The sooner you do, the sooner you will avoid drama, or potentially hurting each other in terms of religious views in the long run.

If you are married, or getting married, and do not yet have children, but want them, then most definitely discuss religion and what faith you want your children to practice. Differences in religion, while manageable, can bring undue stress if they creep up on you when you are already in the middle of your first sleep deprived night!

What if you are not sure what religion you want to engage in? Share experiences together. Maybe you can explore faiths together and see what works for you as a couple and perhaps even as a family down the road.

At the end of the day, just make sure that you are on the same page. Religion can help bring a family closer together but it can also tear you apart at the most trying times if you are in great disagreement about what matters the most to you as a unit.

How do you and your partner relate in terms of religious views and your family? What have you learned from Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise?

Sources: Zaptoit, CTV News

Filed Under: All Topics, Family, Marriage Trends, Pop Culture Tagged With: celebrities, celebrity marriages, katie holmes, tom cruise

Tutu Project shows marriage bonds help fight cancer

May 25, 2012 by BPSTherapy 1 Comment

The Tutu Project is a testament to how marriages can sometimes go well despite the challenges they face throughout the years.

In marriage, you are usually in it for the good and the bad that come along the way.

Most couples, however, do not face as much bad as Bob and Linda Carey have faced during her battle with breast cancer. Over the past few years, Linda has gone in and out of remission, all the while having her devoted husband by her side.

In an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show on May 24, 2012, Bob and Linda spoke candidly of how they have been able to stick together, despite having the odds stacked against them.

Social support during an illness such as cancer is vital in healing along the way. Cancer impacts a marriage at many levels, including the connection shared between partners during the medical visits and ongoing treatment.

Instead of letting cancer defeat them, Bob and Linda have been united in fighting their illness together through breathtaking moments captured through The Tutu Project.

In 2003, Bob suggested he wanted to start a collection of photos of himself wearing a pink tutu. Linda, being the ever supportive wife of an artist, went along with the idea. Years later, the two have quite the collection of photos to share, commemorating her journey over the past few years.

Using humor to get through the many treatments and questionable blood tests, the two have managed to get through Linda’s breast cancer together with The Tutu Project. While they do not know what tomorrow hold, they do not they have each other to lean on.

Emotional support from a partner or spouse can really make the difference in a patient’s ability to heal and survive cancer.

What if you are not sure how to support your partner during these times? Here are a few suggestions:

Offer to help them with daily chores.
Read to them when they are feeling down but would like to spend time with you.
Share a new hobby. Maybe your partner used to like mountain climbing or some other activity that was physical in nature and now they can’t muster up the energy for it. Well, find something new they can try instead. In Miami, for instance, there are many parks and local beaches that offer a host of activities for a variety of interests!

How would you show your partner you support them during a physical or psychological illness? Visit ‘The Tutu Project’ here to see Bob and Linda’s photos over the years. Connect with Bob and Linda on Facebook.

Source: TodayHealth

Dating Trends: Ability to read your partner linked to happiness

Dating Trends: Celebrities find dates via email and texting

Marriage Trends: Couples put off nuptials for other life goals

Filed Under: All Topics, Family, Marriage Trends, Pop Culture, Relationships Tagged With: bob and linda carey, breast cancer, breast cancer awareness, breast cancer survivor, helping your partner, marriage, marriage trends, the today show, the tutu project

Study: Cheating husbands extramarital sex leads to death

May 25, 2012 by BPSTherapy 3 Comments

Many cheating husbands, or men who cheat, do so for the sheer excitement of having sex with a woman in a new environment, be it a cheap motel or a fancy new apartment. However, this situation may not be all that ideal for a man’s heart health!

The stress and excitement that comes with having sex with a new woman in an unfamiliar place is being blamed for the sudden death of men who cheat on their wives. In one study conducted by the University of Florence, lead researcher Dr. Alessandra Fisher commented:

“Extra-martial sex may be hazardous and stressful because the lover is often younger than the primary partner and probably sex occurs more often following excessive drinking and/or eating,”

“It is possible that a secret sexual encounter in an unfamiliar setting may significantly increase blood pressure and heart rate, leading to increased oxygen demand.”

Source: Huffington Post

Perhaps on the outside these cheating husbands seem perfectly calm, but in reality, they are very anxious or overly excited about the whole thing and their heart can’t handle it.

Cheating is something that is appealing to some married men because it presents them with something new – a new person to engage with sexually, something out of the norm for them. Little do they realize they might actually be sneaking to to meet their death at their next sex date!

Do you agree cheating husbands are putting themselves at risk of death over a fling?

Celebrity relationships: Kim Kardashian rules Kimye

Study: Future women robot prostitutes make cheating guilt free

Marriage Trends: Interracial marriage up with improved race relations

Filed Under: All Topics, Marriage Trends, Relationships Tagged With: anxiety, cheating, cheating husband, cheating husbands, marriage, poor heart health. heart attack. stress

May is National Recommitment Month: Resolutions revisited

May 1, 2012 by BPSTherapy 4 Comments

May is National Recommitment Month. What does this mean?

National Recommitment Month takes place every May and involves reviewing goals you set back in January, typically associated with health and well-being.

Both marriages and dating relationship thrive when you care for them. Because these relationships in your life are part of your well-being, which of your goals do you need to review?

Perhaps this year you would like to get married, start a family, or invest in your first home together as a couple. Whatever your goals, take time to figure out what you want as a couple and what you need as an individual.

Relationship goals are shaped by many things, including your personal values and ideals, individual perspectives, and what you bring to the relationship. As individuals you will shape the goals you hold as a couple as you get to know each other.

As a couple, you will find what works for you. Along the way, your goals will guide you on the path you take together as a couple. Take inventory of what you have accomplished so far this year, and what still needs more focus as the second half of the year quickly draws near.

How is your dating relationship or marriage doing in terms of well-being?

Do you need to reconnect as a couple? Are you feeling as close to one another physically, emotionally, and spiritually as you would like? Consider each of these aspects when you sit down and re-evaluate your annual relationship goals during May, National Recommitment Month.

Filed Under: All Topics, Dating Trends, Marriage Trends, Relationships Tagged With: may is national recommitment month, national recommitment month, relationship resolutions

Study: Future women robot prostitutes make cheating guilt free

April 21, 2012 by BPSTherapy 2 Comments

Dating relationships and marriages sometimes end after one or both of the partners cheats on the other. Having an affair adds a third person, or more, to the equation – one that does not work well together for most committed relationships.

What if the guilt factor was removed and you could cheat freely with someone, or something, outside of your intimate relationship? One study looks at the possibility of cheating with female prostitute robots.

Yes, you read correctly. The study, published in Robots, Men and Sex Tourism, considers how a brothel populated by women prostitutes could potentially take guilt out of having an extramarital affair. While the brothel is imaginary, it considers real factors that influence a happy, healthy marriage or dating relationship, such as emotions, loyalty, trust, and of course sex. Researchers posit:

“Clients feel guilt free as they actually haven’t had sex with a real person and therefore don’t have to lie to their partner,”

When taking a closer look at this concept, you might notice that the person is still thinking of cheating. While the guilt is not there, the fact that one or both partners have strayed away from the marriage or original dating relationship says something is lacking there.

Yes, theoretically the guilt is gone from the affair, but you still had the affair. The question then would be to ask ‘Why?’ you or your spouse went elsewhere to seek companionship, sex, or something else, other than in your own marriage.

What do you think of this study? How do you think a brothel featuring female robot prostitutes would change marriage and dating relationships as we now know them?

Sources: news.com.au, foxnews.com

Filed Under: All Topics, Dating Trends, Marriage Trends, Relationships Tagged With: extramarital affairs, female prostitute robots, Women robot prostitute

Coping with stress together makes marriage stronger

March 8, 2012 by BPSTherapy 1 Comment

A previous article discussed how being empathetic to your partner’s needs and being able to read them when something is wrong alluded to the fact that knowing what is happening with your partner can lead to relationship satisfaction.

Research released to USA Today by investigators at the online dating website eHarmony.com indicates that the way in which you and your partner support each other during stressful times may also be an indicator of whether your dating relationship or marriage will survive in the long term.

Many people think that facing hardship in a marriage or dating relationship can weaken your passion or sense of connectedness. The eHarmony.com findings indicate otherwise. Gian Gonzaga, one of their leading researchers comments:

“This points to the fact that your partner really has a big impact on how you’re going to respond,” he says.

“Are you compatible in the way you give support? If you’re someone, when stressed out, who needs a partner to listen to you vent and manage your emotions, you need a partner to do that well, as opposed to a partner who is good at giving advice and finding solutions but is really bad at giving emotional support. You want to make sure those ways of having support from a partner are going to mesh with each other.”

With that said, how have you done in your marriage or dating relationship in terms of supporting each other during times of stress? Do your styles of coping and being there for one another align or do you need some work on this area? If you find that your approaches differ vastly, consider discussing areas of improvement with each other.

Chances are your partner may not know what you need when you are in a state of vulnerability. Getting things out in the open may help you both feel better. With time, you will learn what works and what doesn’t; weeding out ineffective methods of supporting each other will allow for the development of stronger modes of emotional support down the road.

Source: USA Today

Filed Under: All Topics, Dating Trends, Marriage Trends, Online Dating, Relationships, Therapy Tagged With: coping styles, coping with stress, dating stress, marital stress, stress

Marriage Trends: Interracial marriage up with improved race relations

February 18, 2012 by BPSTherapy 3 Comments

As of the last census, there has been a marked increased in interracial marriages in the United States. Marriage, as with any other institution, appears to be changing with the times. With so much focus on the debate of gay marriage, the notion of interracial marriage has almost taken a backseat in historical marriage trend debates. Recent figures as of the 2010 census reveals that interracial marriages have increased, so much so that as many as 1 in 12 marriages are now considered interracial. What can account for these changes in marriage trends?

One article posted in chron.com cites an improvement in race relations over the past few decades as well as an increased flow of Asian and Hispanic people into the United States has factored into the change in marriage trends. Another factor mentioned in this increase is based on the growing trend for black men and women becoming more accepting of marrying white men and women. In the past, different races were discouraged from marrying one another. Now, it appears the debate of whether to marry someone of a different race has changed into whether you should or shouldn’t marry someone of the same sex – times change!

Sociology professor Daniel Lichter from Cornell University shares the following insights:

“The rise in interracial marriage indicates that race relations have improved over the past quarter century,”

“Mixed-race children have blurred America’s color line. They often interact with others on either side of the racial divide and frequently serve as brokers between friends and family members of different racial backgrounds,” he said. “But America still has a long way to go.”

Interestingly, something else to consider in this marriage trend is that the younger generations are also playing a role in changing the face of marriage. Both in the political sense and societal aspect, younger men and women are making attitudinal changes that are resulting in the changing face of the healthy American family. At the end of the day, it’s important that parents get along and set a solid foundation for their family, regardless of their race or sexuality. Have you noticed this increase in interracial marriage over the years? What are your thoughts on this marriage trend?

Source: chron.com, latimes.com